Xenomanes

xenomanes
Xenomanes in the customary garb of the Calloiers des Isles Hieres.

Xenomanes was the pilot of Pantagruel’s fleet in the fée king’s search for the Oracle of the Bottle. The royal household sailed from St-Malo in 1546, and returned intoxicated. With that success under his belt, Xenomanes chartered an expedition to find a site to perform the experiment proposed in The Third Book of the Deeds and Doings of the Noble Pantagruel.

The experiment consists of wrapping an egg with pantagruelion carpasian asbestin and roasting it an oven. According to the theory proposed by Pantagruel, the egg will come out cooked and burnt, but there will be no alteration to the pantagruelion, except that it be cleaner and whiter than when put into the oven.

When Pantagruel proposed this experiment to his father Gargantua, the elder king approved, but decreed that for national security it be conducted in the udder reaches of Gutterdammerung. Gargantua proclaimed that two thousand bricks of pantagruelion, and ten bricks of pantagruelion carpasian asbestin from Mylasea, be provided for the outfitting of the fleet by the syndics of Googleheim in recompense for their subsidies in the battle of the loaves.

Xenomanes was born with a chip on his left shoulder. His mother was frightened by a frog when he was gestating. When he was a toddler his left arm was caught in a wringer-washer. Many depictions of his exploits show him from his right side.