Off grid

A number of individuals have or will be disappeared from the grid. The British mathematician who tied himself into a torus, the cat man do gooder, the lady of shallots, the token arabs, the halt and the dumb, that crazy baldhead, the victims of the CIA the KGB and the PTA. Those bootstrapped, befuddled, and beyond cognition.

Some others, some other individuals, are so far merely off sides. Wouldn’t you say that they stink of heresy? Can you stomach their sort of bile? Please respond on form C-79, link to follow, on pain of death to you and your descendants.

Seven noble youths

The legend relates, that when Decius was still persecuting the Christians, seven noble youths of Ephesus concealed themselves in a spacious cavern in the side of an adjacent mountain, where they were doomed to perish by the tyrant, who gave orders that the entrance should be firmly secured with a pile of huge stones. They immediately fell into a deep slumber, which was miraculously prolonged, without injuring the powers of life, during a period of 187 years. At the end of that time the slaves of Adolius, to whom the inheritance of the mountain had descended, removed the stones to supply materials for some rustic edifice: the light of the sun darted into the cavern, and the seven sleepers were permitted to awake. After a slumber, as they thought, of a few hours, they were pressed by the calls of hunger, and resolved that Jamblichus, one of their number, should secretly return to the city to purchase bread for the use of his companions. The youth could no longer recognize the once familiar aspect of his native country, and his surprise was increased by the appearance of a large cross triumphantly erected over the principal gate of Ephesus. His singular dress and obsolete language confounded the baker, to whom he offered an ancient medal of Decius as the current coin of the empire; and Jamblichus, on the suspicion of a secret treasure, was dragged before the judge. Their mutual enquiries produced the amazing discovery, that two centuries were almost elapsed since Jamblichus and his friends had escaped from the rage of a pagan tyrant.

The violation of Bathsheba

Wages of fear
Wages of fear

Bathsheba was the daughter of Eliam. Her father was Eliam son of Ahithophel, who is described as the Gilonite. Bathsheba was the wife of Uriah the Hittite, and afterward of David, by whom she gave birth to Solomon, who succeeded David as king.

David’s seduction of Bathsheba is omitted in the Books of Chronicles.  David, while walking on the roof of his palace, saw Bathsheba, who was then the wife of Uriah, having a bath. He desired her and later made her pregnant. In an effort to conceal his sin, and save Bathsheba from punishment for adultery, David summoned Uriah from the army (with whom he was on campaign) in the hope that Uriah would re-consummate his marriage and think that the child was his.

But Uriah was unwilling to violate the ancient kingdom rule applying to warriors in active service. Rather than go home to his own bed, he preferred to remain with the palace troops. After repeated efforts to convince Uriah to have sex with Bathsheba, the king gave the order to his general, Joab, that Uriah should be placed on the front lines of the battle, where Uriah would be more likely to die. David had Uriah himself carry the message that led to his death. After Uriah was dead, David married the now widowed Bathsheba.

David’s action was displeasing to the Lord, who accordingly sent Nathan the prophet to reprove the king. After relating the parable of the rich man who took away the one little ewe lamb of his poor neighbor, and exciting the king’s anger against the unrighteous act, the prophet applied the case directly to David’s action with regard to Bathsheba. The king at once confessed his sin and expressed sincere repentance.

Bathsheba’s first child by David was struck with a severe illness and died, unnamed, a few days after birth, which the king accepted as his punishment. Nathan also noted that David’s house would be punished to avenge Uriah’s murder. Bathsheba later gave birth to David’s son Solomon.

David’s punishment came to pass years later when one of David’s much-loved sons, Absalom, led an insurrection that plunged the kingdom into civil war. Moreover, to manifest his claim to be the new king, Absalom had sexual intercourse in public with ten of his father’s concubines, which could be considered a direct, tenfold divine retribution for David’s taking the woman of another man.

Irrelevant concatenations discovered between the Hokey Pokey and the Holy Smoky

Fiend without a Face
Fiend without a Face

Although the city of Jerusalem was relatively secure under Christian control, the rest of Outremer was not. Bandits and marauding highwaymen preyed upon pilgrims, who were routinely slaughtered, sometimes by the hundreds, as they attempted to make the journey from the coastline at Jaffa through to the interior of the Holy Land.

Another major benefit came in 1139, when Pope Innocent II’s papal bull Omne Datum Optimum exempted the order from obedience to local laws. This ruling meant that the Templars could pass freely through all borders, were not required to pay any taxes, and were exempt from all authority except that of the pope.

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Clusterfuck Nation

They came across a land lacking discipline and decorum, lost in raptures of grandiose techno-narcissism, broadcasting its twerked-up gangsta fantasies while it sucks finished goods from other lands in exchange for janky bonded debt. The people were sinking into a swamp of sexual excess, sexual preoccupation, sexual confusion, sexual recrimination, and sexual remorse. The one thing that none of the combatants can agree on is what might pass for sexual normality. The very notion would be taken for a war-cry.